Stuck at work until the worst of the migraine passes, there's not a lot I can do but sit here and type with my eyes closed, so that's exactly what I'm going to do. This may be a hot bed of typos, but right now I don't really care. I've been trying to write as a sort of therapy lately--not in a deep, introspective getting to know me way. That was my twenties and I'm done, but in a very utilitarian, verbal push up way to counter the "slow thinking" and aphasia that the current migraine "treatment" has produced. Plus writing has always been easier for me than verbal communication, but with the aphasia, even more so. So, I have grander plans, though they are somewhat .......aargh, I don't mean somewhat......the backspace key and closed eyes do not make good bedfellows.....they are not fully formed yet.
I'm sure everyone is sick of my whining at this point (if any of this is even legible through whatever typos I"m making). It's just the headache thing has kind of taken over my life. I try to get beyond, I've g\tried to PUSH THROUGH, I've been pro active, I've been positive ...well at positive as I get.......but it is the defining element ofmy life right now and everything has taken a back seat to it. All the maniccreative forces in me are just ricocheting off teh inside of my skull like a half mad housefly that keeps flying into the windows atthree oclock in the morning. Bzzzzbandbbbbbzzzzzzzbandbzzzzzzzzzbang but I just don't seem to have the bandwidth to do anything about it. So I think i'll just rying to keep up this blind writing and probably I should just do it in notepad away from the eyes of the world but for now I think, while I can, I'll do it here because I feel cut off enough as it is and this pale imitation of human connection is going to have to do for now. And who knows if my ramblings will spark new conversations or ideas or arguments or ways to fine tune the friends list? Just plese know that most of what I will be writing here is just stream of consciousness, artless rambling for the sake of using words when I don't know what else to do and is not held out on a platter for all to admire. It's just here an d its something that I can sort of do with my eyes closed when I can only stand brief glances at light. I'm probably not even going to do any post coital proofreading when I feel better. So I guess this turned out to be a big disclaimer for whatever follows in my notes here. Convenient.I think I may be ok to drive now. I can look at the screen without wanting to toss up my accounts, so that's a fine thing. And Ok, I just ended up doing a bit of proofreading as one of the first sentences said Sow Thinking rather than Slow Thinking. I must be feeling a little better though I wouldn't be surprised if Topamax made me think about cows as another charming side effect.
