Leave October

Red yellow orange

October leaves under our feet

Swirling drifting crunching

Fluttering round our heads

Whispering tickling bursting

Blocking out the sky with their kaleidescopes

Laughing strolling leaning

Wanting to feel your breathe above me

Shifting gathering breaking

Dreaming of burying ourselves in fallen grace

Orange yellow red

We were the October leaves, under our feet

Something beautiful
And already dead

Good on paper

If you saw me strolling down the street, all grey-sky-eyed and meandering, you might want to know me
If you heard me laughing in another room, buoyant with absurdity, you might want to come join me
If you listened to me singing to myself, softly discordant, while I sewed a button on your coat, you might want to kiss me
If you watched me dancing, loose hipped and gleaming abandon, you might want to take me

If you found me breaking, mewling like a feral kitten overwhelmed with hours, you might want to save me

If I wrote my thoughts on parchment and let the wind drop them at you feet like falling leaves, you might want to love me
If you woke up next to me everyday for a year or two, tangled sheet bleary and morning grim, you will wish I would never wake again

So

I will keep strolling
I will keep laughing

I will keep singing

I will keep dancing

I will keep breaking

I will keep thinking
I will keep sleeping

And you should just keep walking on by

(unless you happen to be thinking

"Any storm in a port");

Collect 'Em All

See that quixotic clockwork doll?

Over-bright glass eyes,winking

Lower lashes against painted cheek, tickling

(Lashing?)

Threadbare stockings, slipping

Fetching velvet frock, unraveling

Corkscrew grin, beckoning

Head bent to hear an unasked question

Is she a charming toy?

Dancing, offbeat

To her private music

Of grinding gears

click clack whiiiiiirr click whiiiirrrrr clack

And coiled springs

click clack click whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir click clump

Whirling round her dollhouse,

Laughing alone

Does she seem to have come undone?

Hear her whisper all her

Action figure aspirations

(Pose-able?)

To the faint reflections
In her tiny, shiny, gloss black shoes.

Disarrayed and dreaming,

She kisses her own hand and smiles

The Breakers, part 1

Kiss the back of my eyes

The place

Where the images never fade

But pulse like broken neon signs

That read "You can never forget"

Verite Verily

I started life raw and honest
But learned to hide it;
Then I was carefully, subtly truthful
And so very truly tired.
I crawled into bed and told my stories to the ceiling.

Now I hold honesty up to the light

And caress it with swords

A beacon to my ideal

A way to breathe again (harder harder)

The Post It Note Blues

Reclined and naked

Listening to the Cool Drink of Water Blues

Post-coital

Post-punk-rock-plaid
Post-red-raincoat-nude

Post-throbbing

Post-Fuck-Me-heels

Post-breath-on-my-neck

Post-synch

Post-ebb-and-flow

Post-come-on-my-cock

Post-dreaming
Post- confession

Post-smile-in-your-sleep

Post-Mortem.

Pre-Apocalypse.

Pity the world ended before we could break out the Howlin' Wolf and coloring books

Venus in Retrograde: Bits

A diary of ghosts.
The strange and insistent poetry of a fossil poking its way through the sand, a story to be told in its petrified bones.

Scenes from a headache, May 27th 2010

Stuck at work until the worst of the migraine passes, there's not a lot I can do but sit here and type with my eyes closed, so that's exactly what I'm going to do. This may be a hot bed of typos, but right now I don't really care. I've been trying to write as a sort of therapy lately--not in a deep, introspective getting to know me way. That was my twenties and I'm done, but in a very utilitarian, verbal push up way to counter the "slow thinking" and aphasia that the current migraine "treatment" has produced. Plus writing has always been easier for me than verbal communication, but with the aphasia, even more so. So, I have grander plans, though they are somewhat .......aargh, I don't mean somewhat......the backspace key and closed eyes do not make good bedfellows.....they are not fully formed yet.

I'm sure everyone is sick of my whining at this point (if any of this is even legible through whatever typos I"m making). It's just the headache thing has kind of taken over my life. I try to get beyond, I've g\tried to PUSH THROUGH, I've been pro active, I've been positive ...well at positive as I get.......but it is the defining element ofmy life right now and everything has taken a back seat to it. All the maniccreative forces in me are just ricocheting off teh inside of my skull like a half mad housefly that keeps flying into the windows atthree oclock in the morning. Bzzzzbandbbbbbzzzzzzzbandbzzzzzzzzzbang but I just don't seem to have the bandwidth to do anything about it. So I think i'll just rying to keep up this blind writing and probably I should just do it in notepad away from the eyes of the world but for now I think, while I can, I'll do it here because I feel cut off enough as it is and this pale imitation of human connection is going to have to do for now. And who knows if my ramblings will spark new conversations or ideas or arguments or ways to fine tune the friends list? Just plese know that most of what I will be writing here is just stream of consciousness, artless rambling for the sake of using words when I don't know what else to do and is not held out on a platter for all to admire. It's just here an d its something that I can sort of do with my eyes closed when I can only stand brief glances at light. I'm probably not even going to do any post coital proofreading when I feel better. So I guess this turned out to be a big disclaimer for whatever follows in my notes here. Convenient.
I think I may be ok to drive now. I can look at the screen without wanting to toss up my accounts, so that's a fine thing. And Ok, I just ended up doing a bit of proofreading as one of the first sentences said Sow Thinking rather than Slow Thinking. I must be feeling a little better though I wouldn't be surprised if Topamax made me think about cows as another charming side effect.